Mabel Steals My Pillow (AKA The Battle of the Couch Continues)

I thought this cute pillow would look good on my little brown retro couch that hurts my bottom so I'm trying to distract myself with cute little decorative pillows. How's that for a run-on sentence. And not using the appropriate question mark punctuation.

I'm feeling rebellious today. Here's why.

Mabel and I have been feuding over her inappropriate pillow usage for many, many years now. Like this. Or this. So finally I called her bluff. I bought a couch on Craigslist. It's very Mad Men. It has no detachable back cushions for her to crush. It's also tiny. And hard. It hurts my tailbone.

But I had limited choices. Like being broke and only being able to afford a $60 couch. Also, and I haven't mentioned it until now, George and Mabel had a "pee-off" contest on the old fluffy couch years ago. Whenever a visitor sat on the old couch, their body heat slowly released the acrid aroma of prehistoric dog urine from within the cushions and into the air. No amount of cleaning ever helped. And we probably lost friends over it.

"Did you smell that?"

"Yeah, when I sat on the couch. Was that..."

"Piss? Yes. It was. They're gross."

"Let's never talk to Matt or Liz again."

"Deal."

So... after all that whining and explaining... you can see why I'm stuck with a really good looking yet incredibly uncomfortable retro couch. And why I keep deluding myself into thinking that cute pillows will help the situation.

But they don't help. Mabel continues her crush-a-thon on all things pillow related. The couch remains uncomfortable and makes me rub my aching tailbone in what could be perceived as a very inappropriate gesture while I gripe, "I'm pregnant. I should have something soft to sit on. Maybe I'll just buy one of those hemorrhoid donut things." *SNIFF SNIFF*

Mabel, on the other hand, gives the new pillow 4 stars for fluffiness.